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Fitting Twist of Irony - "Cheating" after Regionals

CrossFit SoCal Regional Team Athlete Mallorie Kanter I made a list of all of the processed, gross, deliciousness that I could come up with. Everything I would never indulge in before Regionals, but would let myself attack with reckless abandon after. The Monday after Regionals, I planned to kick off the debauchery with the first two items, a Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino and Carl’s Jr. Plain Biscuit. This was a combo I regularly ate without a second thought in high school. In fact, most of the items on the list are what I like to refer to as “gross kid food”, foods that remind me of home and being a kid and having someone else take care of me. As my bestie and training partner Stina would say, yes, I like to eat my feelings. But that is an entirely different rabbit hole. My list:

  • Caramel Frappuccino
  • Carl’s Jr. Plain Biscuit
  • S’mores Poptart
  • Strawberry Fruit Rollup
  • Hot Dog, bun included
  • Cheese Pizza
  • Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookie (dough)
  • Chik-Fil-A Waffle Fries
  • Velveeta Shells and Cheese
So anyways, I roll out of bed Monday morning and grab my keys to head out for some caffeinated goodness. In small effort to curb the damage I have done while competing the previous weekend, I go to the fridge for some fish oil. When I open the refrigerator door, something curious happens. I see a package of Pete’s Paleo shredded lamb. And it’s talking to me, "It’s all I want..." I know how amazing it tastes, how perfectly it is cooked, and how it drips with so much flavor, I could lick the plate after destroying the protein. In a fitting twist of irony, my body is screaming out for the one thing I could have eaten the entire time. I even found my “rational” brain trying to talk my body’s natural instinct OUT of the obviously healthier and more satisfying choice. “You’ve wanted a caramel frappuccino for months, now is your chance." This internal conflict between what I had “earned” and what I actually wanted and needed went on for an unreasonable period of time until finally, my animalistic desire prevailed. I tore into the Pete’s Paleo goodness, indulging in a plate of shredded lamb, sweet potatoes, and beets. It was the best post competition meal I have ever had.

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